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Recovery can be an experience that helps you overcome your addiction and offer inner growth and peace. However, it can also come with many new pressures and cause isolation. Among some of the most formidable challenges faced in recovery is re-building your past and new relationships; however, you might avoid getting attached for fear of hurting yourself and other people.
Understand that there are significant benefits to creating and re-establishing relationships in recovery. Reconnecting with past mentors, bosses, or friends can work wonders for your self-esteem and heart. Making new connections also expands your support network and offers you new pathways toward success. After all, humans are social animals and rather than work against this social need, working with people helps to serve your recovery.
Connect with Yourself
The first step to creating healthy relationships is understanding your needs in early recovery. Who are you? Work on self-care techniques to get to know yourself now that you are sober. Knowing yourself, your thoughts, triggers, and aspirations enables you to determine what you are looking for in a relationship and strengthens you emotionally. If you neglect getting to know or face certain things about yourself, these habits can translate to outside connections, and you might get stuck in a state of self-doubt and second-guessing. Work on accepting the new you.
Engaging in self-care might help you create a deeper connection with yourself. Journaling offers excellent insight into who you are and how you are feeling. You can also participate in walking, gardening, taking a bath, or anything else you enjoy. When you spend quality time with yourself, you can learn how you want to spend time with others.
Adjustments and Boundaries
The needs and wants of each relationship vary between the individual. If you seek comfort from another peer or a professional, it is essential to establish boundaries. Setting boundaries before pursuing a relationship helps you avoid any negative setbacks. For example, seeking a romantic relationship early on in recovery is not recommended. Romantic relationships might offer too many challenges that you are not ready to face.
When you decide who to let into your life, you will want to tread carefully. Is this person someone that will understand and support your needs? Ultimately, you want to seek relationships where there will be no pressure or problems; these early stages are about putting your recovery first. Taking time to establish and set these boundaries before jumping into a relationship can help you avoid difficult challenges that you might not be ready for right now. Thus you will feel more confident in the relationship.
Old and New Relationships
Much like setting boundaries, you will want to determine what you want from this relationship. Are you looking to make amends? Are you seeking new partners? Are friends and family in your life important to you right now? Which past relationships were healthy and which were toxic? Building a support system comprised of friends, family, professionals, and peers should solely focus on your recovery and recovery needs.
Do you feel comfortable disclosing your recovery experiences? Are these family and friends going to understand that relapse is always possible and help keep you accountable for slip-ups or mistakes? While it is up to you how much you want to disclose, doing so helps strengthen trust and honesty within the relationship. It will also create a sense of freedom because you won't feel like you need to hide anything. Remember to take inventory of all relationships before moving forward.
Reasonable Expectations
Sometimes a common mistake when developing or re-establishing a relationship is setting unreasonable expectations. Understanding your expectations and the expectations of others will reduce feelings of fear, intimidation, or feeling like you need to retaliate when things don't go as planned. Trusted and supportive friends and family can help you develop an action plan to communicate your progress without expecting perfection. Each relationship is about being open and honest, so remember never to make assumptions about how someone feels, and try not to put your support in a position to make assumptions about you.
Why is it Important?
When you devote the time and effort to build healthy relationships, you're taking time to create a healthier you. Building a network not only offers you support but can help you feel valued, provide an opportunity to be caring, become your ideal self, reduce stress, and encourage healthy behaviors. It also enables you to become something bigger than yourself. Being part of a community through relationships helps to continue to grow your support system and awareness about your community as a whole. More awareness creates more understanding, which continues to deepen your connections.
Finding the right network of people for you does not happen overnight. Building a network takes being honest with yourself and others about your life and goals. However intimidating it might seem, looking to the inspiring people from your past and seeking inspirational people is a great place to begin your support growth. At START UP Recovery, we will help you create bonds with other people to provoke qualities of higher self-esteem and greater purpose. We do this by offering a place that embodies acceptance, compassion, respect, forgiveness, and love. Our most tremendous success is your greatest success, and connecting with others is essential to reaching greater heights, both personally and professionally. Your recovery comes first, and it all begins with taking the first step. Remember, the path to recovery and success is difficult, but it is also the most rewarding path you will ever walk. To learn more, reach out to us at START UP Recovery at (310) 773-3809.