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Active addiction involves avoiding emotions. Drinking or using drugs when you are sad, angry, happy, frustrated, excited, or nervous can numb all of these necessary emotions; you might even feel more comfortable in this numb state. However, a significant part of recovery is learning how to confront your feelings. Part of this is having to process difficult emotions to move forward; during this process, you might even long to return to the numb feeling, but this is no way to overcome and healthily feel emotions. Emotions are natural and necessary to life and recovery. The key is being able to process a difficult feeling and find balance within yourself. Many common emotions stand in your way in early recovery; luckily, there are ways to manage these emotions so that you may find balance.
Experiencing Guilt
Going through the worst of your addiction likely feels as though a lot has gone wrong in your life. Whether your guilt stems from a specific moment, or a continued behavior pattern, feeling guilty is a common emotion that plays into your recovery. There is nothing wrong with feeling guilt. Feeling remorse for your actions that may have caused pain to you and others can help motivate you to change your behavioral patterns. By acknowledging your past and some of the mistakes you have made, you can begin to work toward making amends. While some friends and family members might choose not to forgive you, understand that it is their choice.
The process of making amends helps to bring peace and understanding to yourself and others, to comprehend that you cannot control another's reactions. A healthy support network can also help you when or if your feelings of guilt begin to feel too much.
A big part of our mission at START UP RECOVERY is connecting you with a network of supportive people. We understand that it often takes support from others to help you develop the confidence you need to help you move away from the guilt and toward acceptance.
Experiencing Shame
Don't confuse shame for guilt. Shame is when you believe that there is something inherently wrong with you. Shame can diminish your self-esteem and leave you feeling helpless to improve your life. You might feel worthless, as though you cannot accomplish anything – even small tasks. Shame can keep you from forming relationships, seeking help, and can cause you to feel that you deserve to feel this way. Understand that you can benefit from a therapist, counselor, or a trusted friend to help you work through shame in recovery.
At START UP, we believe in tracking progress as we think there are no small feats on the journey to a successful recovery. Every new stepping stone you cross is something to celebrate along the way. Keeping a journal of success and positivity helps you realize how far you have come and that you are not the same person you were when you began. The effort to track your progress is about re-building your self-esteem to battle shame and take on your goals of recovery.
Experiencing Worry
Do you often worry about what lies ahead? Do you also think about what you could have done better in your past? Worrying can turn into one of the most useless experiences if you're worrying about worrying. You exhaust a lot of time, energy, and effort worrying about things that you have zero control over. You might find yourself imagining scenarios that didn't happen, visualizing events that will never happen, and focusing on possible disasters that likely are not possible.
Taking time to evaluate the present and realistically look at what has happened around you might offer insight to understand you did not get to where you are by worrying. Focusing on one day at a time, or if needed, one hour or one task at a time, you stay grounded in the present. In the “here and now,” you have control over your actions and behaviors. Of course, remaining in consistent contact with those from your support groups helps you stay focused. Once you can harness this energy, you can put it towards changing things that you can.
Experiencing Resentment
Resentment is among the most toxic and difficult emotions to overcome. Hanging onto bitterness or anger toward a person is more harmful to you than it is for them. When you spend time dwelling on some past injustice, the person who has affected you will likely carry on without concern. They are spending their time thinking about themselves, while you waste time and energy thinking about them.
Sometimes in life, people will do you wrong. People can hurt one another, and such behavior can cut you to the core. Holding onto resentment never does any good—it often leads you back to drinking, using, or getting involved in a confrontation. It might be a hard bargain; however, forgiveness is truly the essence of release. You don't even need to talk to the person that hurt you; learning to let go will help you regain the energy, comfort, and balance you need to move forward.
Experiencing Loneliness
Loneliness is among the biggest detriments to recovery. During early recovery, you have likely learned how to cut ties with friends who still use or family members that trigger you, though by doing so, you might succumb to feeling very lonely. Loneliness makes you more susceptible to triggers and urges and keeps your mind focused on the negative. As the old saying goes, it takes a village. In recovery, it takes help from supportive people to cope. Continuing to make connections with others that share your experience and support you is essential to recovery.
It takes time to overcome difficult emotions and feelings. Give yourself time and remain patient; understand that it will take work to return balance to your emotional wellbeing after years of struggling with a substance use disorder. It all begins with opening yourself up to a community of people ready to help you meet your individual and deserved goals. At START UP RECOVERY, we offer that community bond built on trust, motivation, and reaching success. If you are embarking on your journey or coming back around to correct a bad stint in your life, START UP RECOVERY is here to help get you back on track and keep you on track. Sometimes it can be as simple as just having to get back in touch with yourself to calibrate your recovery compass. We believe that there is nothing an individual cannot overcome when pursuing the life of recovery they deserve. To learn more, call us at (310) 773-3809.